Category dating

What if I told you that the thing ruining modern dating isn’t what you think—and almost everyone’s doing it?
Yes, ghosting is a problem. Flakiness, mixed signals, shallow conversations—all real, all frustrating. But those are symptoms. The deeper issue hides behind good intentions and polite smiles. It shows up in the way someone says, “I want something real,” while closing every door that could lead to it. It’s in the contradictions we don’t question—the ones that make us think we’re searching for connection when we’re really setting it up to fail.

Online dating often feels like a system of comparisons—each profile, each conversation, each almost-connection quietly measured against the next. We tell ourselves we’re optimizing. Being thoughtful. Waiting for the right fit. But beneath that logic, something harder to name is at work. It doesn't feel like a mistake while you're doing it. It feels like discernment. And yet its cost shows up later—quietly, repeatedly, and in ways that are hard to trace back to the moment you made the choice.

Modern dating didn’t kill courage. It just made sure nobody needs it.
Apps reward avoidance: it’s easier to vanish than to be honest, easier to keep someone in limbo than to close the door.
Ghosting isn’t a glitch — it’s a feature.
The system is built for low effort, low cost, low accountability.
And cowardice, in this world, is not punished. It’s optimized.